1872 FAIRY TALES OF HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN IN THE NURSERY by Hans Christian Andersen FATHER, and mother, and brothers, and sisters, were gone to theplay; only little Anna and her grandpapa were left at home. "We'll have a play too," he said, "and it may begin immediately." "But we have no theatre," cried little Anna, "and we have no oneto act for us; my old doll cannot, for she is a fright, and my new onecannot, for she must not rumple her new clothes." "One can always get actors if one makes use of what one has,"observed grandpapa. "Now we'll go into the theatre. Here we will put up a book,there another, and there a third, in a sloping row. Now three on theother side; so, now we have the side scenes. The old box that liesyonder may be the back stairs; and we'll lay the flooring on top ofit. The stage represents a room, as every one may see. Now we want theactors. Let us see what we can find in the plaything-box. First thepersonages, and then we will get the play ready. One after theother; that will be capital! Here's a pipe-head, and yonder an oddglove; they will do very well for father and daughter." "But those are only two characters," said little Anna. "Here'smy brother's old waistcoat- could not that play in our piece, too?" "It's big enough, certainly," replied grandpapa. "It shall bethe lover. There's nothing in the pockets, and that's veryinteresting, for that's half of an unfortunate attachment. And here wehave the nut-cracker's boots, with spurs to them. Row, dow, dow! howthey can stamp and strut! They shall represent the unwelcome wooer,whom the lady does not like. What kind of a play will you have now?Shall it be a tragedy, or a domestic drama?" "A domestic drama, please," said little Anna, "for the othersare so fond of that. Do you know one?" "I know a hundred," said grandpapa. "Those that are most infavor are from the French, but they are not good for little girls.In the meantime, we may take one of the prettiest, for insidethey're all very much alike. Now I shake the pen! Cock-a-lorum! Sonow, here's the play, brin-bran-span new! Now listen to theplay-bill." And grandpapa took a newspaper, and read as if he were readingfrom it: THE PIPE-HEAD AND THE GOOD HEAD A Family Drama in One Act CHARACTERS MR. PIPE-HEAD, a father. MR. WAISTCOAT, a lover. MISS GLOVE, a daughter. MR. DE BOOTS, a suitor. "And now we're going to begin. The curtain rises. We have nocurtain, so it has risen already. All the characters are there, and sowe have them at hand. Now I speak as Papa Pipe-head! He's angryto-day. One can see that he's a colored meerschaum. "'Snik, snak, snurre, bassellurre! I'm master of this house! I'mthe father of my daughter! Will you hear what I have to say? Mr. deBoots is a person in whom one may see one's face; his upper part is ofmorocco, and he has spurs into the bargain. Snikke, snakke, snak! Heshall have my daughter!" "Now listen to what the Waistcoat says, little Anna," saidgrandpapa. "Now the Waistcoat's speaking. The Waistcoat has alaydown collar, and is very modest; but he knows his own value, andhas quite a right to say what he says: "'I haven't a spot on me! Goodness of material ought to beappreciated. I am of real silk, and have strings to me.' "'- On the wedding day, but no longer; you don't keep your colorin the wash.' This is Mr. Pipe-head who is speaking. 'Mr. de Bootsis water-tight, of strong leather, and yet very delicate; he cancreak, and clank with his spurs, and has an Italian physiognomy-'" "But they ought to speak in verses," said Anna, "for I've heardthat's the most charming way of all." "They can do that too," replied grandpapa; "and if the publicdemands it, they will talk in that way. Just look at little MissGlove, how she's pointing her fingers! "'Could I but have my love, Who then so happy as Glove! Ah! If I from him must part, I'm sure 'twill break my heart!' 'Bah!'The last word was spoken by Mr. Pipe-head; and now it's Mr.Waistcoat's turn: "'O Glove, my own dear, Though it cost thee a tear, Thou must be mine, For Holger Danske has sworn it!' "Mr. de Boots, hearing this, kicks up, jingles his spurs, andknocks down three of the side-scenes." "That's exceedingly charming!" cried little Anna. "Silence! silence!" said grandpapa. "Silent approbation willshow that you are the educated public in the stalls. Now Miss Glovesings her great song with startling effects: "'I can't see, heigho! And therefore I'll crow! Kikkeriki, in the lofty hall!' "Now comes the exciting part, little Anna. This is the mostimportant in all the play. Mr. Waistcoat undoes himself, and addresseshis speech to you, that you may applaud; but leave it alone,- that'sconsidered more genteel. "'I am driven to extremities! Take care of yourself! Now comes theplot! You are the Pipe-head, and I am the good head- snap! there yougo!" "Do you notice this, little Anna?" asked grandpapa. "That's a mostcharming comedy. Mr. Waistcoat seized the old Pipe-head and put him inhis pocket; there he lies, and the Waistcoat says: "'You are in my pocket; you can't come out till you promise tounite me to your daughter Glove on the left. I hold out my righthand.'" "That's awfully pretty," said little Anna. "And now the old Pipe-head replies: "'Though I'm all ear, Very stupid I appear: Where's my humor? Gone, I fear, And I feel my hollow stick's not here, Ah! never, my dear, Did I feel so queer. Oh! pray let me out, And like a lamb led to slaughter I'll betroth you, no doubt, To my daughter.'" "Is the play over already?" asked little Anna. "By no means," replied grandpapa. "It's only all over with Mr.de Boots. Now the lovers kneel down, and one of them sings: "'Father!'and the other, 'Come, do as you ought to do,- Bless your son and daughter.'And they receive his blessing, and celebrate their wedding, and allthe pieces of furniture sing in chorus, "'Klink! clanks! A thousand thanks; And now the play is over!' "And now we'll applaud," said grandpapa. "We'll call them all out,and the pieces of furniture too, for they are of mahogany." "And is not our play just as good as those which the others havein the real theatre?" "Our play is much better," said grandpapa. "It is shorter, theperformers are natural, and it has passed away the interval beforetea-time." THE END.